...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize