I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
