If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
