ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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