so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
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