A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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