coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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