Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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