I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
