had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
