I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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