don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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