"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
