I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
