She's JV to your varsity
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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