What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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