You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
