she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
