do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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