sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize