he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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