I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize