I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I need to calm my uterus...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
