Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
