If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I look better un-naked...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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