and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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