We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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