Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
