This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
