Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
