dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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