Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i love accidental penises.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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