I need help removing her.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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