Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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