Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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