Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
