i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I lost the right to judge tonight
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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