i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
