So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
