sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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