ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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