He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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