Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i dont even know how to be here
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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