dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
