Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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