Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Randomize
