Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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