Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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