Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize