My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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