I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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