So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
