i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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