You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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