I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize