My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
