so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
